One week before

June 4, 2012 (7 days before departure)

            Everyone has dreams that they have been carrying around in their mind wondering how and when they can get around to accomplishing it. This next year I will answer the when and how of my dream: now. Ever since I can remember, I have longed, and loved Israel. I remember in Hebrew School, probably when I and my classmates were around 8 or 9, we had a textbook on Israel named Israel is our homeland (or some variation of this… it was a long time ago). I distinctly remember crossing out the word “our” and scratching in the word “my”. I have always held this personal connection to the land that I somehow knew I belonged to. So, this next year or so, I will be travelling to, and around this land. I will be fulfilling my dream; being almost 100 percent immersed into the culture, language, and people of Israel. I cannot wait to go, yet it is finally hitting me that to carry this out, I will be leaving so many loved ones behind. I think this fact has really hit me today- a week before my plane leaves. A year; it sounds so big yet so small at the same time. It means missing special days, anniversaries, births (of a new cousin!), and (god forbid) deaths. It also means that relationships I have made with people will be tested, and many will loosen or break down. I am determined to keep this in mind, but not let it affect my experiences or trip as a whole. I plan to write in this blog at least once a week to not only update those around me of what is going on in my life, but also for a way for myself to reflect on the past week, and for the future me to remember all the memories of my year.

            In this post, I just wanted to address one question that many people have asked me, and I never have seemed to get an answer to said question out clearly. And many of you who are reading (if there are any) may be asking this to yourselves at this very moment—“why a year?”. There are many different answers that I have come up to this question, all of them different and based on who I am talking to. To my grandma it was “because 2 months during the summer just isn’t enough”, to my friends it was “because I feel like I need a break from school and education”, and to teachers it was “because I was to do this before my student debt starts building up”. All of these answers are valid, but are not the main reason. When I was in Israel ast year for 2 months, I got a taste of what the country was all about. But I didn’t live with Israelis, didn’t speak their language, and therefore didn’t experience authentic Israel. And ever since I stepped off of that airplane in JFK, coming home from Israel, all I have wanted is to go back. In fact, the longing for Israel got so bad that I developed mental repercussions. Now that I have the opportunity to go back, I know that I want to have the authentic Israel, not the tourist or temporary visitor Israel. And a gap year, specifically one that allows for unstructured time as well as assimilation into Israeli society, is the only way I know how to do this.

            I can’t believe how fast this year has flown, and the fact that I have to start packing within the next few days to make sure I’m not trying to do it all Saturday night! As I said with my first post from my trip last year- to my friends and family here; I will miss you more than words can say, and I expect Facebook messages, Skype conversations, phone calls, and a few care packages from each and every one of you! To the people that will be participating in the kibbutz program with me; I can’t wait to meet you all, and learn about each of you as we learn about Israel together!